Well, lucky for all of you, we have now hit the final installment of Sarah's dissertation on Marriage and Relationships. :) The last session we attended was given by John Trent, entitled "Small Changes, Big Results."

Bottom line, don't wait until things get bad to make the corrections that need to be made now. In your married life, we go through stages and phases, and it becomes easy to become status quo, ordinary, predictable, and comfortable. While all these things can be okay, it also doesn't provide for growth and stability in your marriage. If you are not moving forward, you're actually going backwards. How can that be? How can holding steady be a bad thing?

Well, I would argue that your marriage, just like your relationship with Christ, is a dynamic entity. It needs nourishment and protection. It needs to be nurtured. So, if we are stuck in the same ol', same ol', we are not putting time towards strengthening the very union that will pull us through when circumstances are not so normal, or are tested, or are troubled.

That is why John Trent recommends the two degree difference - making small little changes rather than overcorrecting when something has gone awry. Relate it to driving - to keep it between the lines, you make minimal adjustments frequently. If you fall asleep at the wheel, and wake up when your tires hit the shoulder, you quickly and abruptly turn the wheel, causing the vehicle to potentially careen out of control. This can cause irreversible damage, and perhaps have long lasting consequences.

In the same way, with your marriage, make little things meaningful each and every day, even if you feel they are insignificant. These two degrees may be in the form of an attitude adjustment on your part, a kind kiss at the door, a respectable comment rather than a sharp retort in a disagreement, a touch, a peck, a timely phone call. All these things are little, meaningful gestures that help your spouse know they are loved, cared for, respected and significant. If you stay on the path of little corrections along the way, and keep Christ as the focus, you may be able to avoid sharp, critical U-turns in the future.

I was reminded of a thought today when reading a fellow Love Dare participant's entries (thanks Angie!). She was speaking to feeling convicted about her nagging about socks on the floor and other things her husband should be doing. (Yes, been there, done that!) However, it brought to mind my mother's words after losing her spouse at the tender young age of 37 (yep, my dad). She told us how she would always complain about him leaving his socks by the bed, and the fact that she would always be the one to pick them up. Now, she would trade anything in order to daily throw them in the hamper herself, just to have more days with him. It's all in the perspective.

Grasp and hold tight to the one you love. Each day may be the last, and we want to live it without regrets. Praise the Lord we are blessed to have the promise of reunion in heaven if you have Jesus Christ as your personal Lord and Savior. But, for each and every day on earth, I choose the path of loving my spouse, with the assistance and blessing of the Most High God.

What greater gift have I been given here on earth?
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3 Responses
  1. Angie Says:

    Sarah, thank you so much for stopping by! Your words of encouragement are so wonderful. Today, I got up and sashayed to the ladies room,ha, and on top of the laundry basket was a cereal bowl with remnants of cereal and milk. I wanted to scream! Then I thought, God is trying to break me, and break me hard. So with tight lip, I take it to the sink and rinse it off and not say a word. Please tell me I did the right thing! LOL! Your entry about your dad helped I just wish it was just socks. But I do have to be grateful for the man he is, supportive, loving, and a great hard working provider that has 13- 14 hrs. days so I can have a part time job and stay at home during the day. Yes a new perspective to think about and I do feel God's pat on the back. I am so glad I found your blog. Thank you for sharing your experiences and knowledge.
    blessings, angie

  2. Amy Says:

    OH Sarah Sarah!! I love all the posts 1 through 4! What incredible insights and challanges on marriage! You are full girlie!

    I think that one of my mom's best pieces of advice to me was, "HOney, pick your battles. Make sure the things that you bring up, are few and far between. He will listen alot easier." Kind of like with our kids huh?? lol!

    There has to be a listening to one another's heart, understand the other person is really not out to make your life miserable... and then making sure to pick through the issues that are really really pressing enough to confront the other person on. If it is too often, than nit picking is so in order. I know I don't like that... and I really do try to fix the things that my honey mentions to me... and I know he does too.

    The longer I have been married to Bobby, the more I have realized I am off the hook. I am not his God. I am not his mother. I am not his fixer. I am his wife. phew! Thankyou Jesus for that! LOL!! Seriously, tho... to not have to fix him, and just pray for him is such a burden lifted...

    So so great to hear all that you have learning and have gleaned from your weekend seminar and the Fireproof challange. Yay for that!

    Hugs... Amy

  3. Joyce Says:

    Your post reminds me, Sarah, that the Lord calls us to be faithful in little things first of all, before He entrusts greater things to us.

    Those little kindnesses mean so much.

    Each day is a gift; we do need to grown in love to one another while we have one another. So true.