Last weekend, our family attended a parenting conference sponsored by our church. We were blessed to be a part of this program - it helped to solidify that we are doing some things right, but also need to continue to work harder in specific areas.

The title of the seminar was "Parenting is Heart Work: Everyday Parents CAN Raise Extraordinary Kids". It was put on by the National Center for Biblical Parenting, and our guest speakers were Dr. Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller, RN, BSN. If I would have written this post the day after attending, I think it would have been twice as long. But, since I have a long list of "to do's" and a short amount of time, I just want to summarize a few key points that have "stuck".

First of all, this seminar dealt primarily with the parts of the conscience. The four parts are:

• Do what's right
• Deal with wrongs
• Be honest
• Care about others

The entire seminar is based on the principal of making the conscience more sensitive and developed. Sometimes that requires a heart change, and we have to work on developing these heart qualities to have the change be internal, not external. In other words, instead of behavior modification with rules and rewards, we will utilize conscience awareness.

So, sounds great in theory, right? Sure, we want to develop these qualities...who doesn't want a kid who is respectful, kind, considerate, truthful, etc? Well, first and foremost, these concepts are deeply seeded in God's word. God works with a person's conscience in these ways:

• Convict of sin - John 16:8
• Provide forgiveness -1 John 1:9
• Helps fight temptation - 1 Corinthians 10:13
• Provides power to do right and avoid wrong - Ephesians 6:10-18
• Guides into truth - John 16:13
• Confirms honesty - Romans 9:1
• Reminds of the right thing - John 14:26
• Lives inside believers- John 14:17
• Makes God's teachings clear - 1 Corinthians 2:10-14

So, if these are part of God's plan for us, and our children, we are called to help guide their conscience and teach our kids to take initiative to to do the right thing. Some of my children know their conscience and listen to it very well, some have it buried so deep that we are needing to work hard at making him more aware of it each and every day. Do you say, "Good job" or do you say, "You showed great self control in that situation." How about, "It was nice of you to help your sister." vs "I really noticed you showing compassion in that situation." While they may all seem like positive comments, the second examples in each are using "heart" comments - comments that reflect the fruits of the Spirit. By using these as part of your compliments, as well as part of your disciplining techniques, you will continue to keep the conscience awareness in the forefront.

Tomorrow: Tightening your action point and using heart concepts while disciplining....