I am finally getting to my computer while supper is cooking and my children are sitting in front of the tv. :) Can I be thankful for that??? Actually, they are watching a kids movie and I feel fine about them tuning out for a bit. TJ has been busy with play practice, and she is a bit keyed up about it, so some down time is good for her. They are blocking multiple scenes right now so she is trying to take it all in and keep up with where they are in the script. It has been nice being able to attend with her and help out. I applaud the directors for keeping these kids on task and getting as much done as they can. Wow.

The week has flown by so fast that TJ's bday has snuck up on us, despite the fact that she has been doing the countdown since the beginning of November. It is Saturday, and, had I been prepared, it would have been the perfect day for a party. But, as it goes, we are most likely just going to have a few of her friends over, let them play, and then eat some cake. Real exciting. But, playing will be fine with her, and if we end at a local pizza joint with some games, she'll probably be pretty excited about the day. But, somewhere between now and Saturday, I have to shop... egads.

I've been thinking about my thankfulness post all day, and that is also part of the reason why I haven't taken the time to sit down and write. I have been feeling kind of chippy today, and haven't felt much like giving thanks for anything. Then, I felt guilty for not wanting to change my attitude, which then made me mad that I had to feel guilty, and so on and so forth. Bottom line, I was fighting my pride and ego, and feeling like I just didn't want to have to do something I didn't want to do. Talk about being a stubborn child - child of the King, that is. It goes back to a day or two ago when I was feeling hurt about something, and I just wanted to hold on and harbor those feelings. Heck, I think it is safe to say that I am still gripping them in my hand, because letting them go "sounds" to me like I am saying I wasn't "right" in the situation. I want to stomp my feet and yell that I was justified to feel like I did (do) and that I am entitled to hold a grudge.

Guess the feelings are still a bit fresh.

I suppose that's where the rubber hits the road, so to speak. Do I do as I should, or do as my human nature begs me to do? Do I release it all, and give it over to God? Do I harbor my foolish pride and keep feeling wronged? Well, I know the answer, but sometimes knowing and doing are two different ends of the spectrum. I need to let it go, suck it up, and move forward. And, doggone it, that probably means I have to apologize as well - for my down in the dumps, poor me attitude. Ugh. That's not fun. Interesting how, when something doesn't go your way, there's a reactionary response, isn't there? As a result, I'm just as "guilty" as the offending party. So, I guess I have to ponder this awhile and look to what I need to do to repent and change. Sounds like I have my thankfulness post for today:

I am thankful that my God loves me, despite my shortcomings, my failures, my sinfulness. Thank the Lord that he does not judge me on my attitude, or lack of consideration for others. I am grateful that he is a God of second (and third, and fourth...) chances.

Psalm 51

1 Have mercy on me, O God,
according to your unfailing love;
according to your great compassion
blot out my transgressions.
2 Wash away all my iniquity
and cleanse me from my sin.

3 For I know my transgressions,
and my sin is always before me.

4 Against you, you only, have I sinned
and done what is evil in your sight,
so that you are proved right when you speak
and justified when you judge.

5 Surely I was sinful at birth,
sinful from the time my mother conceived me.

6 Surely you desire truth in the inner parts [a] ;
you teach [b] me wisdom in the inmost place.

7 Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean;
wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.

8 Let me hear joy and gladness;
let the bones you have crushed rejoice.

9 Hide your face from my sins
and blot out all my iniquity.

10 Create in me a pure heart, O God,
and renew a steadfast spirit within me.

11 Do not cast me from your presence
or take your Holy Spirit from me.

12 Restore to me the joy of your salvation
and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.
1 Response
  1. Melanie Says:

    I struggle with the same feelings and I'm learning ever so slowly to let them go. I am so thankful for a merciful, patient, compassionate Father God! One of my favorite prayers is verses 10-12. Have a blessed weekend!