Anyone out there watch Seinfeld?

I get a huge kick out of many an episode, but one that comes to mind today is the one where Jerry and his girlfriend are all lovey dovey in how they talk to each other and it drives George and Elaine crazy. "You're my schmoopie", "No, you're MY schmoopie..." and on and on ad nauseum.

Brad and I couldn't be further from that scene. We are NOT lovey talkers or whatever you want to call them.

We have "pet" names for each other. Real exciting. I'm "nug" and he's "spousie" or "spouse". Very creative. I realize I rarely call him by his first name though. That's kind of weird.

So, I should call today Random Thoughts with Sarah. I'm full of them today. I'm thinking back to high school and the dreaded Valentine carnation purchase. I went to a Christian high school and some group in the school would have a fundraiser every year on Valentine's Day. You would order and purchase $1 carnations in different colors (each color would mean something) to give to your friends, sweetheart, or whoever. Then, they would be delivered in first or second period, so it was very exciting to see who you would get flowers from, and, conversely, really sad when you wouldn't get them from someone you liked.

Looking back, I realize how much I hated that day. I hated the worry and wondering about whether or not I was going to get ANY flowers, let alone from a special someone. I worried about other people that wouldn't be getting any, and how they would feel. I worried about the reaction I would get in response to giving a flower to a special person. Oh, the angst of high school.

Don't make me go back ------ aaaaaaaarrrrrrggggggghhhhhhhhh!

Valentine's Day to me is a high expectation, low return holiday. I remember many a day in my high school and college years of having grandiose ideas about how the day would play out, only to have it dashed with disappointing realities. I grew to dread the holiday, picking up hours where I worked to avoid the possibility of spending the evening alone while EVERYONE else in the world was celebrating their love. Oh, the warped perception of youth.

From early on in my married life, Brad and I didn't do much to celebrate Valentine's Day - we went with the motto that every day is Valentine's Day, and we didn't need a special day to proclaim our love. (Plus, we had NO money so the thought of him purchasing flowers or something like that would have caused a huge fight most likely!) As we've matured in our marriage, we find though that we do need to take time out and make a special point of doing things together, because it is easy to have days and weeks go by without any couple time. That is an ongoing commitment we have to one another - and we both have to work at finding the undivided time.

So, I have no grandiose ideas for V-day. I don't have a gift yet or even a card for my dh. I have nothing for my kids. I am planning on making cookies with them, which will be complete with pink frosting and sprinkles, a rare treat around here. But, I am searching my brain for some ideas of something special to do to make it memorable. I think I want to teach my kids that love is for each and every day of the year, and not something to be officially observed on February 14th. But, I do want to recognize that it is a day to share together.

So, what are you planning on doing? Are you spending time alone with your spouse? Cooking a special meal? I'm interested to hear...maybe I'll get some ideas too!

Now, I leave you with this - what an amazing gift of love we have from our heavenly Father, who loves us each day the same, no questions asked. No lack of carnations, or flowery cards, or nights alone can separate us from the love that is there for the taking.

Grasp the love, and cling tightly my friends.

Blessings to all of you...

I'm realizing how down in the dumps my last posts seem, so it's time to lighten it up a bit. I have a wonderful life. An awesome life. My spouse - he's amazing. My kids - beautiful, inside and out. I could go on and on, but I won't bore you to tears. I'll just share a few pictures to brighten the day...Without further ado...my goofy family:





Hope you all have a good day -

Well, I thought it would be helpful to continue to blog about The Love Dare and how I'm progressing... You know, keep a little on-line journal reflecting on not only the journey through the book, but also talk a bit about the Fireproof Your Marriage class Brad and I are teaching on Sundays. I'd like to report that I am just doing fantabulous and this is the best journey I have ever taken -

But, I'm not into printing lies. This blog is about the truth - painful as it may be. :) The road that I have taken has become a bit bumpy. I've come to a screeching, abrupt, dig in my heels, I don't want any more of this self-reflection, this is too difficult and I don't want to change, my marriage is just fine, don't analyze this to death, halt.

Okay, maybe that is a bit overdramatic.

However, I have been stuck where I'm at for a good week I think. I'm been trying to figure out what it is that keeps me from moving forward. Why not go on to the next step? Take another dare? Am I not brave enough, motivated enough, strong enough? What am I afraid of?

I'm trying to get those questions answered in my mind - and with my Bible. Right now, my thoughts on the process are so crazy that I can't seem to spend one moment on one train of thought without all the other thoughts coming in to beat me down and make me question what I am doing.

But, I firmly believe that our ol' evil foe, Satan himself, is at the root of this problem. He is rearing his ugly head and pushing me in the opposite direction that I need to go. He is grabbing my hand and pulling me away from the marriage God desires me to have. He is testing my faith, daring me to fail, telling me lies like "You're not worthy", "Brad will just disappoint you anyway", "What's the point?", "Everything is going to backfire", "Look how he's paying more attention to everything else", "See how unimportant you are?" and many other thoughts like these. And, Satan is subtle. He uses little, everyday life scenarios to make me question everything I'm doing. I feel much more vulnerable going through the book and seeking what I can do to get better, while Satan is right there whispering in my ear how unfair it is that I should make all the changes, that I should be the one to do things better, and on, and on, and on, ad nauseum.

He's a nasty little guy. I've been down in the dumps for about 5 days due to him.

But, he's not going to win. He's going to have to back off and get out of the way, 'cause I see what he's doing to me. It took me a few days, but I finally recognize it.

It's a battle, but I've got my armor on now. I think I was missing a few pieces, but now I am fully cloaked. I may slip, I may fall, but I will always get up. I've got a Savior uplifting me, and he's stronger than anything I face on a day to day basis.

Just writing this is going to help. I just know it.

Plus, God promises that it will be better - James 1:12 says, "Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him."

Now, that's a promise worth remembering.

So, if you dare to take The Love Dare, don't do it without your Lord and Savior by your side. I have him with me and it is still a struggle. Realize you are going to face trials. Satan is going to persecute you and make you question every move you make.

Don't let him in.

Stand solid on the rock of Jesus Christ.

I dare you. :)

FOR TODAY...

Outside my window...rainy, dreary day - all I want to do is curl up with a good book so I could snooze and lounge the day away

I am thinking...how this time of year is not my favorite, as I am very antsy for spring and the fresh color of green to bless the land

I am thankful for...a mom who is gently prodding me to follow through with some educational testing for my oldest son

From the learning rooms...TJ is going to learn how to use the "widgets" section of an online program today as she loves to put inventions together. That will keep her entertained and learning while the older two plug away

From the kitchen...have chicken breasts thawing for something???

I am wearing...slippers, wool socks, jeans, blue shirt with a flannel shirt over the top

I am creating...a list of dictation my dh needs to get done before I can send out some billing

I am going...to hopefully get a menu planned for the week so I can get to the store and use our money in the best way

I am reading...The first book in Francine Rivers Mark of the Lion series, and I'm still working on The Love Dare

I am hoping...for a light dusting of snow to cover all the bare, brown earth

I am hearing...JT teaching TJ how to use the widgets program

Around the house...seems like our "Mission Organization" has fallen slightly by the wayside - I'd like to get the kids back on track and keep our house in better order...at the very least, I'd like to get the storage room back to its normal state

One of my favorite things...a big bowl of steaming, hot, flavorful soup - I could eat soup every day!

A few plans for the rest of the week: Church meeting tonight, Wednesday noon presentation, church activities Wed night, a focus group meeting Thursday, cookies to bake for Valentine's Day, and something???? for Saturday, but not sure what it will be yet

Here is picture thought I am sharing... This picture reminds me each time of God's light leading the way through a dark world!

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Blessings to you all! Have a wonderful week!

As Dennis Rainey said this week in one of his sessions from his Family Life Today radio program, "If you aren't actively working on your marriage, you're losing ground." Brad and I had a discussion about that because marriage IS hard work. But, there are many days that you don't want to do the work - not spend the time with your spouse, do what you want to do, not put the other one first...you know the feeling. And, let's face it, who wants marriage to be "work"? Who wants to refer to it that way?

When we were discussing this, Brad initially said that he didn't think you would actually lose ground if you weren't actively working on your marriage. So, as we talked about it, we decided that if you are invested in your marriage, then you are doing the things you should be doing to improve and continue to grow your marriage...things like putting the other person first, looking out for the needs of your spouse, showing love and/or respect. And, if you are doing these things, you are moving in the right direction. Marriage is a dynamic process and always in need of work. It never reaches the goal of perfection.

But, as I said before, no one wants to think of marriage as work. My prayer is that you see the time you spend with your spouse as one of joy. I pray that you don't see yourself having to WORK at your marriage, but instead see it as a calling from God to do his bidding, to follow in the design he intends. Wouldn't it be great if it could be second nature to leave our selfishness behind and eagerly look to serve the other? Love that is unconditional will do this, despite the circumstances. But, as I am really learning in The Love Dare, it can't be done on our own. We have to tap into the power of the Holy Spirit to truly carry out this challenge. Spend time in the Word. Spend time with your spouse. Take the time to invest in your marriage, and explore your relationship.

Be in the Word. We know we cannot change others, only the power of Christ can do that. But, we can be assured that Christ is our Lord and Savior, and his example to us of perfect love is amazing. Strive to follow in his footsteps and choose to love, respect, and honor your mate as Christ intends. What a blessed gift we have received in the marriage covenant. May it always be honored and cherished.

I admit, as soon as Brad found out that I was doing the love dare challenge, it seemed to cause me to slack a bit. The excitement of doing all these things for him without his knowledge was no longer as strong, and I needed to take a step back and analyze why I was doing this. Was it for the thrill of his recognition? Was it to look good in his eyes? Or, was it to truly grow and be a better wife? Unfortunately, all of these things may have been true. But, ultimately, the last question is the most important. I do desire a stronger, more intimate marriage. I do know that it won't happen overnight. Some days are easier than others. It is VERY difficult to put the other person first when everything within you screams to do it your way. It is a huge lesson in personal sacrifice, and a humbling experience in how selfish you are as an individual. It is a dare to become stronger in the Word, and become a better person, spouse, and mother.

It is a challenge that I cannot do without the Holy Spirit in me.

So, I am trying. By God's power, I am trying. May I ever be his faithful servant, imperfect as I am.

I'm on Day 16, Love Intercedes, and I'll probably be there for a few days. I have some things to get right in my heart before I feel I can move on effectively. Thank goodness I don't need to do it on my own.

But, I'm blessed to be a part of this journey. I'm blessed to have a patient husband. I'm blessed to love the Lord and blessed that He loves me more. Despite everything. Praise the Lord.

(Love)always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. I Corinthians 13:7

Oh my goodness. Get me off this sugar train. I have been a victim (albeit, a willing one) in a indulgence of sweets in epic proportions. (Did you see that? I used albeit...what a word find.)

Seriously, Super Bowl eating is not for the faint of heart, or those weak with self-control. I think I ate for about 5 straight hours last night. We went to a friend's house and had wings, sandwiches, crackers, cheese, chips, shrimp, yummy rye bread ho rs devourers, (sp???) cheesecake bites, chocolate eclairs, cookies, soup, pretzel mix, and more that I probably have indulged in but forgot in my feeding frenzy.

So, somewhere in my food induced coma that I somehow aroused from this am, I decided that we needed a change of scenery for the start of our school day. Enter Queen City Bakery. Located at Latitude 44, this delectable experience comes from New York City with a pastry chef straight out of Baked (which I assume is a bakery in before mentioned city). I knew I was in trouble when there were NO breakfast items in the showcase. Bringing three children into a bakery with no breakfast items is a problem. Why? Well, let's just say that the entire casing was filled with all things chocolate. Triple chocolate brownies, Espresso cake with buttercream frosting, chocolate muffins, red velvet, on and on and on.

I could convert to being a sugar freak. Throw away the chips, boys, I'm in.

Well, I couldn't very well be rude and walk out. After all, did I really think they would have fruits interestingly displayed for immediate purchase rather than pastries? I hadn't just entered the Health Food Bakery. So, what any normal mother would do (who is a glutton (no pun intended) for punishment) is to purchase their children, prior to doing their schoolwork, two triple chocolate brownies and a LARGE slice of Espresso cake.

Hello? Who does this? Did you really expect them to get any work done with a zillion tablespoons of sugar pulsing through their veins?

Did I mention I got coffee?

I was such a good girl. I didn't need chocolate. I'm a salt fanatic.

"No, JD, I'm not drooling on your chocolate cake. A bite? Well, I suppose if you really think you could spare one, I'd just take a quick little one. I'll give you back your fork in a minute. Oh, you said just one? Well, you'll have to wrestle me for it now. Who holds the answer keys, big fella? I can fail you in school at a moment's notice. Step away from the cake. Step away from the cake. You don't know who you're dealing with here, sonny."

I had three bites actually.

And one from each of the brownies.

And, we actually worked, really well. REALLY well. For about 30 minutes until the sugar rush ran out. Then we laid on the floor and slept like babies. Yes, the floor of the bakery. They just stepped over our bodies. They said it happens all the time.

I revived enough to buy my dear husband a piece and drop it off at his work for a special treat. I love him so. I just don't care, obviously, if he gets any work done as he will be curled up in a treatment room all afternoon sleeping off the sugar drug.

Oh, and when I got home, I opened the fridge to find the leftover cheesecake bites. I'll just pull out the syringe to inject it directly to get through our afternoon of Science and Literature.

Once all of it is gone, we won't see sweets in this house for a good couple of months. Not until Easter. Or maybe President's Day. Okay, maybe tomorrow.

All I know is that I need to make another pot of coffee, because it's going to be a LONG afternoon.

Now, where are those chips?

FOR TODAY...

Outside my window...bright, crisp, cool morning with the winds expected to pick up

I am thinking...that we are going to head into town this morning and do some schoolwork in a different setting

I am thankful for...warm blankets, quilts, and heat, money for gas, my dh who works so hard

From the learning rooms...today is a full Monday with piano lessons added and every subject

From the kitchen...absolutely nothing going on in there - even the coffee pot hasn't been started yet as we're heading to town (Queen City Bakery - yum,yum)

I am wearing...blue jeans, socks and slippers, long sleeve shirt with a black pullover sweatshirt

I am creating...very little at the moment

I am going...oops, already listed this - in to town to drop Brad off, grab some IRS forms he needs, and then to the bakery for some schooling

I am reading...a new Francine Rivers book from the Mark of the Lion series (It's upstairs but I think that is what it is!) It will be started later this evening (I hope!)

I am hoping...that I can start my book this evening, that we can wrap up some computer decisions

I am hearing...kids getting their books together in their backpacks

Around the house...we were busy all weekend so we got a bit out of control, so today we need to corner the chaos

One of my favorite things...Superbowl food - gnoshing on any and everything, which is exactly what I did - WOW!
A few plans for the rest of the week: I should exercise, that's for sure! Church activities, meetings, piano, nothing too big

Here is picture thought I am sharing...
Snuggling up!

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